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This is a festivity which has roots going far back into the pagan and pre Celtic past of this country where each year is re-enacted an ancient pagan sacrifice of a young maiden as an appeasement of the fertility gods." Bollocks!" said Professor Potts-Johnson in his reedy and querulous tones. "And the full name of that one-horse arse hole of the universe is Little Sprodwell under Fosse - God help us all!" I beg your pardon, Professor, but I have this on the very best authority. The trouble with you locals is you can't see the wood for the trees. You are blind to the treasures to be found in your own back yard." Bollocks, if you will excuse the repetition, Professor! This particular shindig is as phoney and ersatz as it comes. Believe me, I know! The presiding genius is a relative of mine - the black sheep of the family and a total charlatan to boot! But, what the Hell? It'll be a nice day out and a goodly display of female flesh can be practically guaranteed if I know anything of the. She peeked carefully over the sides of her bed, seeing only the rug and a few Girls' Life magazines. Taking her heaviest pillow to use as a weapon, she got out of bed and padded slowly towards the door. Right as she reached it she froze. looking down. Peeking out from the crack beneath her round half-circle of a cheerio. Puzzled, she opened the door. Before her loomed a seven-foot wall of cheerios.They covered the doorway completely as the entire hallway had been filled with them. And they were moving. They were alive and crawling over each other like a mass of legless insects, filling the air with the heavy smell of whole grain oats. Lindsay ran and jumped back onto her bed. She huddled and clutched the pillow over her head, and screamed. She was still screaming when her parents came in. Her mother soothed her, wanting to know what was the matter. The cheerios were gone. Lindsay told her that it was just a nightmare. She didn't want them to think she was crazy. After a little while.
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